Zach's Theme Park Blog 4-30-2010

Hello and welcome to Zach’s Theme Park Blog where I furiously make fun of theme parks.
Holiday World (Santa Claus, IN) has a new ride and new clientele base of fat, smelling loud and annoyingly drunk rednecks, thanks to Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom closing. Story here
Cedar Fair (Sandusky, OH) gets told by investors “You need new board members, you’re old ones are boring as shit.” Story here
Six Flags (New York City, NY) has unveiled one of their stupidest marketing ploys yet; Little Six. No word on how Mr. Six got laid…or if Little Six is a clone. Story here
Busch Gardens Williamsburg (Williamsburg, VA) will be getting a drop tower, or so this article leads me to believe. Story here
Six Flags Great Adventure (Jackson, NJ) has opened a new educational program for high school students. This is great news because New Jersey could really use it. Story here
La Ronde (Montreal, CAN) is getting set to open their newly relocated suspended looping coaster. Nobody really cares all that much. Story here
Camelot Theme Park (Chorley, UK) is home to 8 newborn piglets. One day those piglets are going to make great bacon. Story here
Finally, with all the recent stories about Captain E.O. opening at nearly every Disney park, I decided to check it out.
That’s all for today, thanks for reading Zach’s Theme Park Blog.

Zach's Theme Park Blog 4-29-2010

Hello and welcome to Zach’s Theme Park Blog; the reason I can’t get laid.
Our top story today shows Six Flags has reached a deal to emerge from bankruptcy announced it with this statement; “Yeah we’re out of bankruptcy but New Orleans and Louisville aren’t seeing a dime.” Story here
Sea World (Orlando, FL) gets bitched at in front of congress by terrorist group PETA. Story here
Kennywood (Pittsburg, PA) has once again pushed back the projected opening day of their new roller coaster “Sky Rocket.” After blaming it on the snowfall of this past winter Knoebel’s quickly followed suit, blaming 5 seasons of snowfall for not having Flying Turns open. Story here
Disney’s California Adventure (Anaheim, CA), Disney’s Hollywood Studios (Lake Buena Vista, FL) will be updating their Toy Story Midway Mania attractions to include a new game featuring a character from the new Toy Story 3 movie being released in June. This is an open challenge to any mouse freaks out there; I will kick your ass in Toy Story Midway Mania. Don’t believe me? Thank book me a trip to a Disney park of your choosing and it’s on! Story here
Busch Gardens Williamsburg (Williamsburg, VA) is building a drop tower? Let the speculation begin. (Spoiler alert: it’s a drop tower) Story here
Epcot Center (Lake Buena Vista, FL) will reopen Captain E.O. Proving that as long as kids are around Michael Jackson will live on. Story here
Freestyle Music Park (Myrtle Beach, SC) is still closed until further notice. But there might be a carnival coming to a Myrtle Beach shopping mall parking lot! Story here
Ok so this isn’t theme park related, but the National Corvette Museum wants to build a track for people to test Corvettes!!!!! Story here
That’s all the news for today. Thanks for reading Zach’s Theme Park Blog. Here’s my video of my visit to Disneyland from last year.

Zach's Theme Park Blog 4-28-2010

Hello and welcome to Zach’s Theme Park Blog. Where I say whatever I want, and YOU WILL LISTEN!
Sea World (Orlando, FL) says to congress “Let us keep our whale shows.” Congress replies “With the size of your guests all you need to do is open the gates.” story here
Bay Beach (Green Bay, WI) has come to an agreement with the town of Green Bay to raise the height limit in order to relocate the Zippin Pippin roller coaster. A truly historic feat for a 70 foot tall roller coaster. Story here
Six Flags Over Texas (Arlington, TX) has reached the halfway point of track removal on their Texas Giant roller coaster. My prediction is it still won’t be ready on time for it’s scheduled 2011 opening. Story here
Kings Island (Kings Mills, OH) will unveil their Snoopy Starlight Spectacular this summer featuring a light show with over 2 million lights including the entire Eiffel tower. My applause to their green initiative. Story here
Six Flags Great America (Gurnee, IL) will play host to a “Karate Kid” challenge. If one of those kids cuts me off in line that weekend, I’ll let it go. Story here
Abandoned dinosaur museum is “creepy as shit” Story here
Here’s a picture of a dog riding American Eagle.
That’s all for today, thanks for reading Zach’s Theme Park Blog.

Zach's Theme Park Blog 4-27-2010

Hello and welcome to Zach’s Theme Park Blog. Where I report theme park news while drunk.

Busch Gardens Tampa (Tampa Bay, FL) has seen lower attendance in the past year. I knew the removal of free beer would have that effect. http://tinyurl.com/2fhb8fs

Adventureland (Altoona, IA) reopened for the season after a fire they had. Locals report “it burned up real good.” http://tinyurl.com/2ad3rav

The Georgia Stat Fair starts this week. So wave that confederate flag and drink some moonshine. http://tinyurl.com/2feswne

Tokyo Disneyland (Tokyo, JP) has recently reopened “Captain EO.” Michal Jackson’s Legacy lives on with Japanese school boys in theme parks. http://www.olc.co.jp/en/news_parts/20100426_01e.pdf

That’s all for today. Here’s the official video for G3 2007 http://tinyurl.com/28oyf77 Thanks for reading Zach’s Theme Park Blog.

Zach's Theme Park Blog 4-26-2010

Hello and welcome to Zach’s Theme Park Blog, the closest I’ll ever come to journalism. So, uh…

California’s Great America (Santa Clara, CA) says to town of Santa Clara “Come on guys, we don’t want to pay you for days you won’t let us open. Let’s discuss this over some medical marijuana.” http://tinyurl.com/28sav3e

Sea World (Orlando, FL) fatal accident earlier this year involving a killer whale causes congressional hearings. But nothing’s going to change; seriously we’re talking about congress here. http://tinyurl.com/25uqvp9

Coney Island (Brooklyn, NY) will be full of Italians. http://tinyurl.com/2eoa842

Walt Disney World (Lake Buena Vista, FL) will be visited by a young girl with an incurable heart disease thanks to the make a wish foundation. The trip was her second wish because they could not fulfill her original wish of curing her heart disease. http://tinyurl.com/23vfs7a

Kings Island (Kings Mills, OH) has officially removed all traces of their Son of Beast roller coaster. Except the ride itself. http://tinyurl.com/28aylqs

Walt Disney World (Lake Buena Vista, FL) will soon start selling tickets and other items through iPhone. In a related story identity theft has never been easier. http://tinyurl.com/238xcng

Dreamland (Margate, UK) gets government bailout. http://tinyurl.com/22ov8vu

Dubai Amusement Expo (Dubai, UAE) opened today. Which is cool since they haven’t opened any of those huge parks they had planned. http://tinyurl.com/24qosqz

Busch Gardens Tampa (Tampa, FL) is building a new roller coaster. What’s your speculation? http://tinyurl.com/y4am6um

Well that’s all for today but here’s a video from the shoot of Knocked Up at Knott’s http://tinyurl.com/2d8ovg2

Thanks for reading Zach’s Theme Park Blog.

Zach's Theme Park Blog 4-23-2010

Hello and welcome to Zach’s Theme Park Blog. The only place where my opinion matters.
Legoland (Carlsbad, CA) is building a waterpark, I sure hope the slides are made of legos. http://tinyurl.com/2dv4kce
Disneyland Resort (Anaheim, CA)has begun vertical construction on Voyage of the Little Mermaid. Disney fans are getting wet. http://tinyurl.com/23ttnwa
Schlitterbahn (New Braunfels, TX) is ready to open up this weekend. No it’s not a theme park, but a water park. And no I don’t even have a joke for that one. However their marketing manager; Jeff Seibert is very cool and does a great job. http://tinyurl.com/27zvdqv
Sea World (Orlando, FL) has on staff people who claim they can communicate with animals. Beastmaster and Dr. Dolittle could not be reached for comment. http://tinyurl.com/3ytc3ks
Characters from Mark Twain’s “Huckleberry Finn” will be portrayed this weekend at the national soaring museum, but I have a bad feeling this will happen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRS6gW_k1uc read the story here: http://tinyurl.com/344jxr7
Warner Brothers Movie World (Queensland, AU) is being sued by a 14 year old boy over lost wages because he fractured his wrist at the park. Clearly Australia is starting to treat the legal system like we do here in America. http://tinyurl.com/26ggarj
That’s all the news I’ve got today, but here is Maxim’s list of the 10 greatest amusement park freak out videos http://www.maxim.com/humor/stupid-fun/82470/10-greatest-amusement-park-ride-freak-outs.html Thanks for reading Zach’s Theme Park Blog.

Zach's Theme Park Blog 4-22-2010

Hello and welcome to Zach’s Theme Park Blog where I deliver you the industry news in a fair and balanced way. With a slight bias towards buffets.

Cedar Fair is looking to tackle their $1.6 billion debt. My recommendation is to bring back the 25 cent cotton candy, and don’t install anymore garbage cans. http://tinyurl.com/26m7oel

Lake Compounce (Bristol, CT) is introducing a fast pass style system done through text messages. No mention on how far ahead of the line nude pics would get you. http://tinyurl.com/29t2mma

Indiana is changing their policies on how whistle blowers from within amusement parks are being dealt with. You mean it only took an accident to cause this? http://tinyurl.com/2dkthuh

Knoebel’s Amusement Resort (Elysburg, PA) OPENS FLYING TURNS!!!! Just kidding. (Although I’m sure you didn’t fall for it.) They did however upgrade their computer systems, leading Dick Knoebel to make the comment “Damn you Microsoft!” http://tinyurl.com/2ef89e2

Knott’s Berry Farm (Buena Park, CA) may be reopening their famed Xcelerator roller coaster this coming weekend, after having Intamin slave master Sandor Kernacs make the roller coaster beg for mercy and promise to not rain hell upon the human race. http://tinyurl.com/2a7y7bq

Six Flags Great America (Gurnee, IL) announced today that if you’ve got a bag of old crap to donate to goodwill, bring it this weekend (opening weekend) and receive a buy one get one free ticket. http://tinyurl.com/2a6f2fe

Walt Disney World Resort’s (Lake Buena Vista, FL) abandoned “Discovery Island” has been urban explored! Top that JonRev! http://tinyurl.com/26p662h

Orlando is worried about the effects of the Icelandic volcano on travelers from England and Germany. Where’s the Disney magic now? http://tinyurl.com/2835jyq

Opry Mills (Nashville, TN) is celebrating their 10^th anniversary. But personally as a theme park lover I choose to take the stance of “F**k you” towards whoever decided to tear down a theme park in favor of a shopping mall. On a side note, congratulations to them for surviving the recession. http://tinyurl.com/276kcqn

India recently has it’s 10^th IAAPI expo. Wait…India has an amusement park expo?! http://www.iaapi.org/

Tivoli Gardens (Copenhagen, DK) is going to scan your face. Consequently those without faces can no longer enter. http://tinyurl.com/2em67cy

Finally here’s my video of the Dania Beach Hurricane from my 18^th birthday featuring me singing on the ride! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDJuW1QO8co Enjoy and thanks for reading Zach’s Theme Park Blog.

Zach's Theme Park Blog 4-21-2010

Hello and welcome to Zach’s Theme Park Blog. Today the news is just a rolling in so let’s get it started.

Disneyland Resort (Anaheim, CA) has announced that June 11 will be the opening of their new Wonderful World of Color water and light show. Disney advises making LSD purchases sooner rather than waiting. http://www.ocregister.com/news/announces-244934-date-debut.html

Screw the kids! Think of the rides (FL) http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/state/theme-park-legal-protection-measure-goes-to-governor-591071.html

Techie fatasses, awe in wonderment at Six Flags new menu screens (they should’ve gotten iPads) http://www.brandweek.com/bw/content_display/news-and-features/direct/e3i7db724a2489ff4cc6392d4fbfaaefbd2

Stratosphere Hotel (Las Vegas, NV) has opened the world’s largest skyjump, allowing guests to experience what suicide would be like if you could change your mind at the last second. http://finance.alphatrade.com/story/2010-04-20/PRN/201004200947PR_NEWS_USPR_____MVTU002.html

A southern California man was arrested for selling amusement park tickets he purchased with a stolen credit card. Backdoor ticket brokerage on craigslist is illegal?! http://www.scpr.org/news/2010/04/20/man-arrested-selling-amusement-park-tickets-bought/

La Ronde (Montréal, CAN) unveiled the name of their new(ish) for 2010 roller coaster; “Ednör L'Attaque” which roughly translated means “Headache.” http://www.ultimaterollercoaster.com/news/stories/20100416_01.shtml

Ferarri World (Abu Dhabi, UAE) won an award, which is strange because they aren’t even open yet. http://www.zawya.com/story.cfm/sidZAWYA20100420125018/Ferrari%20World%20Abu%20Dhabi%20Honoured%20at%20Cityscape%20Abu%20Dhabi%20Awards

Here’s an article about why larger UK theme parks are doing well. http://www.marketingmagazine.co.uk/news/998079/Sector-insight-UK-theme-parks?DCMP=ILC-SEARCH

Chocolate Wonderland (Beijing, China) was moderately successful, but is planning on starting a WORLD TOUR!!! http://www.globaltimes.cn/www/english/metro-beijing/update/culture/2010-04/524444.html

Lastly enjoy Uncyclopedia’s entry on Six Flags http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Six_Flags

Thanks for reading Zach’s Theme Park Blog.

Zach's Theme Park Blog 4-20-2010

Hello and welcome to Zach’s Theme Park Blog. We start with breaking news from Wisconsin
Bay Beach Amusement Park (Green Bay, WI) discovered today that relocating the classic Zippin Pippin from Memphis is going to cost money, and a lot of it. Read more here http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/article/20100420/GPG0101/4200538/1207/GPG01
Walt Disney World Resort (Lake Buena Vista, FL) has made safety improvements to the famed monorail since the fatal accident which occurred last July. Look at these pics and you’ll see why http://www.myfoxorlando.com/dpp/money/040510-OSHA-Disney-Monorail-photos-released
Sea World (Orlando, FL) is questioning if the timing is appropriate to revive the @Shamu account on Twitter. Last tweet posted read “Let’s see how she likes being in a tank!” http://www.miamiherald.com/2010/04/20/1587559/sea-world-dilemma-should-shamu.html
Six Flags New Orleans (New Orleans, LA) is still going nowhere. http://www.nola.com/business/index.ssf/2010/04/minnesota_developer_withdraws.html
Universal Studios (Orlando, FL/Hollywood, CA/Osaka, JP) has seen a slight dip in attendance. NoGodForMe claims it’s due to his boycotting. http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/business_tourism_aviation/2010/04/ge-reports-slightly-lower-attendance-at-universal-theme-parks.html
Disneyland Resort (Paris, FR) is now for the blind! http://www.thestandard.com.hk/news_detail.asp?pp_cat=21&art_id=97092&sid=27777821&con_type=1&d_str=20100419&sear_year=2010 but NOT FOR PRINCESSES! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/7610477/Mother-banned-from-Disneyland-for-dressing-as-princess.html
FIGHT!!!!! Well…kind of (RRC) http://groups.google.com/group/rec.roller-coaster/browse_thread/thread/3850bbf1d51503a0#
That’s all for today everyone. Zach’s Theme Park Blog!